Friday, July 10, 2009

Take me, I will follow YOU!

Something to ponder…. Am I willing to love You, talk about You, enjoy You and be loyal to You even if it means giving up everything? Am I willing to love You, serve You and share You even if it means people won’t like me anymore? Am I willing to trust You and rely on You when others, very intellectual and sophisticated others, rebuke You and deny You? Am I willing to answer Your call no matter what?

I would like to say yes without a doubt to all of these questions. But there are times when fear takes over and I struggle with it. Mostly because I do not want to offend anyone. Mostly I don’t want to offend people I respect. You see, my boss is a wonderful, powerful and intellectual woman. However, she is the farthest thing from loving Jesus. Did I mention she is a PK (pastors kid), well she is… and yet, she is not even remotely touched by the power of Jesus. We talk about Him, she gives me her opinion and I state the truth, but there is always a little bit of fear behind me. You know, I respect her, dare I say it, I love her. She is a powerful part of my life, and yet, we truly passionately disagree on this topic.

Andrew and I have walked thru the fire of life over the past three years. He has been sick for a while, seriously ill, got better, had a set back, got better and now somewhere in between. And yet, Jesus is still constant, never changing, still the driving force behind my heart. My boss and I talk in circles about different treatments that are out there, that might be the “perfect one” for Andrew. I keep saying over and over, I truly feel this is mostly a spiritual journey and I am not going to seek more medical advice than the advice we have spent the past two years seeking, because when it boils down, we keep praying, spending money on co-pays and Jesus keeps saying, give it to me… So this brings me back to the first questions…

Am I willing to stand firm behind my statement “Jesus will heal him, Jesus will be faithful, Jesus will not abandon us…” regardless of what the people I love say… Even if they support my crazy scripture posting, prayer repeating, Satan rebuking attitude, some might see it as a little radical…. But, am I willing to stand firm regardless? Are you?

In the midst of all of the adventures Sweet Jesus as brought our way, I keep asking Him to take me where He wants me, to lead to me go where He wants me to go and this morning, while I spent some times with Him, He clearly asked me this "What if you are where I want you to be, will you stay?"...

Yes Jesus, please help me stand firm. Please give me strength to be where you want me, even if that means in this place I am in right now. Please heal my hubby, please bless my son’s Super Man with peace that passes all human understanding. I praise you for you have drawn the man of my dreams so close to you he can see and feel nothing else. Your word says, You are my constant source of stability, you abundantly provide safety and great wisdom. You give all of this to those you fear You. Lord, I am one of those people. I love you, my hubby loves you and I just want you to be proud of us and the family we raise. I call upon you. Jesus be with us, Amen.

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