Thursday, January 28, 2010

My precious one:Nhyja (Nia)

As I prepare to get a second opinion, and maybe a third, I had to "process" everything... You see, my precious one, my little Nhyja, pronounced like Nia, was given to me by my husband, Andrew in May of 2005. She was 1 year old when she came to live with us. She is a pure bread Lhasa Apso and I loved her from the moment I saw her. Andrew came home and said there was something in the garage I needed to see, and there she was, behind his car, just the cutest thing I had ever seen. My heart was taken, I loved her.

Andrew got sick in 2006 and she cuddled with me at night as we watched him sleep. She licked the tears from my face as I cried out to Jesus on behalf of my husband and she listened to every prayer, every frustration and every fear I ever spoke. And she did it without ever changing the way she loved me.

I'll admit, we didn't walk her everyday, or even weekly, but man we loved her. She slept on the end of our bed, sometimes in the middle of us and there were times I shared my pillow with her. I think we spoiled her. My daddy built her a house in the garage. Isaac would put her in her house as we left in the morning for daycare/work. He would ask me to roll down the window as we pulled out of the garage so he could wave and say good bye to her. He loved her.

When we brought Isaac home from the hospital, she wasn't sure of him at first. But she eventually got use to him and he fell quickly in love with her. Before he goes to bed at night he says goodnight to the puppy, gives her a hug and a kiss.

He gets excited when he sees her when we walk in the door and has tried on more than one occasion to out her in time out. He thinks it is fun to help his mama around the house, specifically, letting her out to go potty in the grass, he waits for her by the door and is so proud to let her back in house when she is done. He loves to feed her, and if the treats were not kept out of his reach he would give them all to her at once.

I will miss hearing "puppy come on" as he tries to make her play with him and his trains, cars or balls. I will miss hearing "NO puppy" as he tries to help me discipline her when she potties on the floor after it had been freshly washed.

It breaks my heart to say good bye to her, but more than that, it breaks my heart to try and tell my son why she isn't there when we come home any more. I will miss watching him love her and I will miss her.

I will miss how warm my lap is after she has slept there for hours. I will miss having to fight for some space in the bed as she tries to take over my side of the bed. I will miss her. I love her.

Preparing to let her go is hard. Preparing for life with out her is something I cannot even picture. Preparing to be the "grown up" sucks. Sometimes, being an adult, being the mama, being the one to make hard decisions and appointments just sucks.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

His Word, My Heart

I spent the weekend in the Word, being taught by Beth Moore, I cried, I laughed and I was refreshed. As I got on the plane, a lone, I left a life behind that I had once known as "my normal", I left the place I worked for the past 6 years and was literally running toward Jesus with my Bible in hand.

My heart and dream job is to work from home full time, running the ministry, I have founded and love with everything in me, studying His word, and writing what He teaches me down so they might learn something. Working and writing while the laundry is going, while Isaac runs around with his trains and trucks and with the puppy sleeping next to me, sounds just perfect. Almost too perfect.

As I spent the weekend with Him, I read about Him, I talked to Him, I cried out as loud as I could and I praised Him with my whole heart. I came home renewed, refreshed and excited about what He had in store for my "new normal".

Excited, yes. Ready, yes. Willing, yes. So as I spent some time reviewing what I read over the weekend I was over come with emotion. Tears stream down my face at the thought of how much He actually cares about what is happening in my daily life. I read, re-read and re-read again, Psalm 119. And still, I cannot really grasp the love, the faithfulness, the accuracy and the relevant words within the 176 verse of Psalm 119.

"Your faithfulness continues through all generations; you established the earth, and it endures." verse 90

His Word stands firm and will stand the test of time, no matter what this life may bring.

"My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word." verse 28

I will cling to this verse as I make arrangements to put my most beloved dog down. I will own this verse as I try to explain to my two year old son what happened to his puppy and why she is not at home any more. And I will repeat this verse over and over again as I go to bed without her warm body at my feet.

"Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light for my path." verse 105

I will meditate over this verse as I go about my new normal and wait for the Lord to provide direction and income for our family.

"I am your servant; give me discernment that I may understand your statutes." verse 125

I will pray this verse over and over as I wait for Him to show me where to go and what to do.

I will continue to read this Psalm, over and over again, until I know almost every one of the 176 verse within the pages. I will pray the words of His word over and over as the days continue and I will remember my trip to Texas as a trip that brought me to the feet of my Savior.

Who knew, one airplane ticket, a night in a hotel room alone and some time with a woman named Beth would change my life.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

A moment I will never forget...

I got on a plane on Friday morning...
... spent a lot, and I mean, A LOT, of time crying...
I took two bags packed with my make up, curling iron, lotion, socks, the necessities, my lap top, and my Bible.
I got off the plane... rented a car and found my way through Houston Texas and found my way to her...

... Yes, that is BETH MOORE... we ate dinner, we talked, she talked, I listened, I cried, we opened the Word, my heart was changed, my anxiety was overcome, for a few minutes at least... more to come...

Monday, January 25, 2010

My new normal...

My new normal consists of the following:
* Coloring Picnics on the floor
* Thomas the Train
* Laundry
* Monday Morning trips to the grocery store
* Mid Day Cleaning
* Bible Study during nap time

My new normal ... could not be better.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

A big change...

Well, the day has come. My life for the past six years, at least work wise, has been trying at times, fabulously fun, stressful and rewarding.

Take July 10, 2007 for example: Starting at 1am, the final stage in the new Hospital was in progress, the remaining medical equipment that was not needed for the patients we currently have was moved, the ER at the old campus closed at 6:45 am and at 7am we received our official first patient. Patients are being transported every 15 minutes from the Egbert Campus to the Prairie Center Parkway Campus. I remember what it felt like as it started to feel like a real hospital around here. At 7pm we received our last patient from the Egbert Campus and life resumed as normal in the days to come. It is hard to believe that, the very thing I have worked so hard for was completed. It was April 18, 2005 when we broke ground on the land the hospital owns. It seems like yesterday as I look at all the hours of preparation, boxes of paper that hold documentation no one will care about after that very long day in July and most of all it amazes me to look back at the memories I have and the people I have come to love.

You see, during my time at the hospital I have grown to love has ended.

As I look back on this journey, I am amazed at how my job came to be and I am amazed at how I have changed over the last few years, both professionally and personally. There were times when my life has been consumed by work rather than the excitement of having a baby, being a mom or just the everyday life things I have enjoyed over the years.

But as this job comes to a close, I will spend a little time reflecting on the journey I have been so blessed to be a part of. Over the past 4 or so years, I have had the opportunity to witness and experience the following life changing events…

I know what the inside of an Operating Room looks like, before the walls went up. I know the technology that hides behind the paint and underneath the floors.

I know what 1.6 million pounds of rebar looks like and costs.

I have seen more than 5,960 gallons of paint go up on the walls and experienced the complaints regarding personal preference of the colors we selected. But I have learned have tougher skin and not take everything so personally.

I have witnessed a patient move that was done with impeccable attention to detail, organization and care.

I know it what feels like to deliver a child within the very OR that was once only on paper.

I am honored to have worked for this establishment regardless of the amount of tears I have cried. I know what it feels like to work more than 14 hours a day and be so proud of everything that was accomplished I could hardly sleep. I have come to experience the reward that comes with a long day of work, little sleep and a deadline and budget met.

I have met new friends and said goodbye to old ones.

Most of all I have learned that nothing worth having comes without a little pain.

I have enjoyed this journey and am intensely emotional as it comes to an end. When this day comes to an end, I will say good bye to my friends and I say good bye with a heavy heart to a job that I am proud to have been a part of.

As the day continues, I will reflect on the limited about of time I have left on this job, but at the end of the day, I will return home with an intimate sense of pride and sadness, looking forward to the adventure that awaits a head, both at home and work, where ever that might be!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

All I can hold onto...

Psalm 18:47-49 (New International Version)
47 He is the God who avenges me,
who subdues nations under me,
48 who saves me from my enemies.
You exalted me above my foes;
from violent men you rescued me.
49 Therefore I will praise you among the nations, O LORD;
I will sing praises to your name.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Show us where you live FRIDAY!

It's Friday and Kelly's Korner is hosting her fabulous "Show us where you live Fridays" and this Friday is all about New Year's Resolutions.

Well, I am not big on New Year's Resolutions to be honest but this year, 2010, is a little different because this year, is the year that my passion will come full circle. I have spoke about Girls Only Ministry before and I prayer for 2010 is for the Lord to be glorified through the work of this ministry.

Please check out the website and visit the blog. Blessings in 2010~

Wordless Week - Day 6

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Wordless Week - Day 5

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Wordless Week - Day 4

Wordless Week - Day 3

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Wordless Week - Day 2

Monday, January 4, 2010

Wordless Week - Day 1

Saturday, January 2, 2010


He melts my heart. His smell, his smile, his tender touch, his sloppy kisses and his passion to play with me, melts my heart.
His laugh, his toddler talk and his never ending desire to watch The Jungle Book, melts my heart.

He melts me and I love him. I never knew being a mama meant being this in love.

I love you Isaac Martin!

Friday, January 1, 2010

A new year... a new mission...

In 2009 I founded a Non-Profit Organization called Girls Only Ministry. I spent the last 6 months of the year working the details out with an attorney and an accountant, I know, I really know how to have fun...

I have had a passion for these young sweet ones for several years and finally just jumped in and agreed to the Lord's vision for this ministry. He and I have spent HOURS talking over this ministry, His ministry. I expressed my fears, my worries, my anxiety and my dreams, and most of all, it came down to me just being obidient to Him, the one I love more than anything!

I am still working full time, raising my son and loving on my husband, needless to say, things have been a little busy and the Lord has come thru for me in ways I could not imagine. One of the biggest things He has blessed the ministry with is a NEW WEBSITE.

Please go here to check it out. This is my heart, my passion, my dream and my life. I hope you enjoy it!

Happy New Year!

Welcome to 2010! 2009 has been a great year for the Vigil's... One of my favorite memories of the year had to be Christmas Morning, just the 3 of us...

Isaac LOVED opening presents...

He got some new tools, which he LOVES!

We enjoyed a peaceful morning, complete with homemade "Christmas" rolls and some Jungle Book...
I cannot believe how much he has grown over the year. Happy New Year - may Jesus bless you beyond your wildest dreams...