Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Don't think it was easy...

It is no secret that Andrew and I have had our “moments”. We will just call them “moments” for now. You know the kind of “moments” I am talking about. The kind that make you fall to your knees, tears streaming down your face, doubt staring you straight in the eyes, the kind of moments that will literally shake you to your core. We have had those moments.

The moments we can look back on over the last 5 years of our marriage are life changing, faith defining, earth shaking moments. Some are filled with joy, others with anxiety. Some are filled with laughter filled nights, and others were spent listening to the beeping of hospital monitors. Some are filled with the greatest blessings anyone could ask for and then there are the moments that are so challenging one would question how we made it.

Those moments, all of them, are all moments that Jesus hand picked for us. He chose those moments for our first 5 years of marriage long before we took our first breath or even before our parents witnessed that little magic plus sign on their home pregnancy test.

So my question is this… when exactly did we ever think life, married life or life as parents would be comfortable, easy or always “wonderful”…. You know the kind of wonderful that leave it to Beaver experienced. Where exactly in the Bible does it say those who choose to follow Jesus will never know suffering, anxiety or pain?

Right now in our culture people will be in a TV show that will test the very strength of their minds and bodies, people will take it further and sign up for a TV show that will eventually put their integrity in question. They will put their kids in front of the camera and attempt to raise them with a sense of normality, and the moment they speak of Jesus and stand firm in their faith, it all comes crashing down and the cameras turn off and no one is around. The evidence of the “rumors” are still published, the hearts of their loved ones are still hurt and none of it was as easy as they thought.

I know of a woman who on a daily basis says these words about “my people”…. “religious people make me sick, their very view of life disgusts me”

When and how did we get the idea that following Jesus was the easier choice? When did we “those kind of people” think it was okay to have them call our Jesus disgusting? When were we ever encouraged to be Jesus with skin on because it was the “popular thing” to do…

His word makes it clear… “They will hate you because of me”…

Those seven simple words say so much.

“They will spit on you because of me”
“They will mock you because of me”
“They will tear your lives apart with so called “reality TV” because you choose to talk about me”
“You will disgust them because of me”
“They will withhold promotions from you because of me”
“They will try to spend your money on experimental medical testing because they have no other answers and refuse to look at me”
“They will beat you and hang you on a cross, because of ME”

So I ask you this, are you up for whatever He has set out for you? Even if it is uncomfortable, smothered with anxiety, painful, unfair, hard work, filled with long nights and even if it means you only wear water proof mascara for the rest of your life? Are you up for it?
I want to raise my son to be up for it. I want him to look in the face of pain, anxiety and fear and know that Jesus has already overcome the world. I want our family name to be one that brings a smile to the face of our savior and I want my son to be “hated” because of Him -yes you heard me right. I want my son to know Jesus so passionately no one will be able to see when he beings and his love for Jesus ends. I want him to know it is hard work to passionately love Jesus. But I also want him to know the blessings that come with it are worth it all and are enough.

But really, will the moments of blessing be enough? The moments of a peaceful nights sleep, a blessing in the midst of suffering. The moments of laughter, a blessing in the midst of over whelming heart ache. The moments of excitement as we dream of taking a trip to Vegas, a blessing in the midst of anxiety filled mornings.

Jesus – you are enough. I love you. I work for you, I sleep so I can wake well rested and honor you with my actions. I eat so I can be healthy and serve the people you have placed in my life. Even if those people spit on me, mock me, beat me and hang me on a cross, Jesus, I will do it for you. I love you.

Oh and PS – Satan, you have no place in my home, there is not a room that does not hold scripture on the walls, do not even think you are welcome in my life, my home, my mind or in any part of my husband’s mind, life and heart and do not get me started on my son… Back the heck up – YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE.

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